Lessons Learned

These things will probably sound like no-brainers to you experienced child-rearing people out there, but Jacob and I being first time parents have had to learn many lessons the hard way. Sure, we've held an occasional baby here and there, but as for actual experience in dealing with babies, we've had none until our own babies came. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch. I don't think either one of us had even changed a diaper until a nurse in the NICU showed us how. I remember her saying, "Okay, go ahead and change them, mix up their formula, and feed them." and Jacob and I stared at her wide-eyed with that deer in the headlights look. We didn't even have a clue. Needless to say, we've got that part down now as we make 15 bottles and change roughly 18 diapers daily now.

A lesson I learned just the other day is that you should never let your baby push themselves over their boppy so that their heads are upside down (see picture below). Our babies like to chill out in their boppies after they eat and they really like to use their little legs to push themselves over backwards until their heads are touching the ground behind them. It is especially fun to watch TV or the ceiling fan go round when you are upside down. However, as I learned the other day, if they spit up/throw up while in this position, the milk goes up their nose, in their eyes, through their hair, and all over the carpet. Thus resulting in a big ol' mess and a screaming baby with milk up his/her nose.

The next lesson involves sleep. Well-meaning people told us to keep our babies awake during the day so that they will sleep better at night. We eventually learned that this is an absolute fallacy. Naps after every 1-2 hours of wakefulness throughout the day are ESSENTIAL, especially the morning nap, if you don't want nightly fits and babies that sleep through the night (thanks Jenny for clueing us in on that one!). No wonder they were throwing monster fits each night, they were getting WAY too little sleep and hardly any naps! I feel like I now spend the whole day, putting the babies down for naps, getting the babies up from naps, feeding, changing, a little play time, putting them down for naps, getting them up from naps, and so on and so on until they finally go to bed. I'd have to say that I much prefer this schedule though over the hours of fits in the evenings. In a book I'm reading about babies' healthy sleeping habits, the author says "Parents are never truly prepared for the degree to which the babies' sleep/wake patterns will dominate and completely disrupt their daily activities." Ain't that the truth!

The diaper bag. What do you put in a diaper bag? Diapers, of course, and other materials necessary to change a baby's diaper. At least that's all I thought I needed. As we've gone out more I've realized that the diaper bag is not just for diapers. You also need a change of clothes for each baby, extra burp rags because they will almost always spit up all over their car seats, extra binkies, toys, formula, bottles, hand sanitizer, blankets, a pad to change them on in case you have to pull over and change them on the side of the road, A LOT of diapers, and many other things I'm sure I haven't even learned that we need yet. Even if you are just planning a short jaunt out, you will almost always inevitably need one or more of these things in your "diaper" bag. A classic example of my un-preparedness was the other day when I took Kate to the doctor and she wanted me to take her directly to the hospital for x-rays, but I told her I had to go home and feed her first. The doctor offered to give me some formula to feed her and I said, "But I don't have a bottle with me." She gave me a look that made me feel like a complete moron. Lesson learned. Always keep formula and bottles in the diaper bag. Gone are the days of a cute little diaper bag, I'm going to need a suitcase from here on out to haul all of the things necessary for three babies when we are out and about.

This next lesson has been a hard one for me to learn and to put into practice. Babies cry. I get that. But once they've been fed, changed, have napped, been held and are STILL crying, you feel like a failure as their mother. Sometimes babies just have to cry and that's a hard one to accept. I used to run to them frantically at the slightest whimper, but I'm getting better at that and am trying to learn to let them work some things out themselves without Mommy rushing in immediately. It's especially hard for me when we lay them down for the night after having a bath, being fed, swaddled and rocked and they cry HARD. It frazzles my nerves and makes me cry too. It takes all of my willpower not to go pick them up. I can't stand it when they cry!

I know it's been said probably millions of times, but babies need to come with a manual! It would probably have to be about 10 feet thick though to explain everything you need to know about raising a child - let alone 3 of them! I've read so many books about dealing with babies and I call the nurses at our pediatrician's office quite a bit. In fact, when I took Kate in the other day, one of the nurses said, "What a cute baby. Is she your first?" and before I could respond the other nurse replied, "No, she's one of the ZACHARDA TRIPLETS. You know, the family we talk to on the phone all the time." Give me a break, I'm new at this and I have 3 times more babies than the average first-time mom!

We've learned so many lessons about our babies and I'm sure there are many more lessons around the corner that we still have yet to learn.